Sunday, May 07, 2006

New Neighbors

I live in a nice quiet neighborhood in a boro of NYC. I won't say where because I do not want anyone else to move here. Yes. I am. A stinker. And assuredly selfish. In this regard.

As per the title of this post, there are SOSOSOSO many new faces in the 'hood. Now as NYC has been going through massive construction boom in house thanks to Mayor Bloomberg, it inevitably came to my own place of residence. So we have new apartments, mostly condos, going up all over. I'm fairly tripping over manhattanites, the non-NYC-born-wanna-be-locals who have never ventured past their own 20 block comfort zone. And finally feel priced out of their $2000 studios. And even more ridiculous paying for it. I have no sympathy. You priced the locals out in the first place, willing to pay retarded sums of money to live in a closet.

Then there are the ethnic immigrants who have fled the areas of gentrification in other boros and landed in the area next to mine and now right in the same nabe. Rationally, I understand why they want to live here. It is quiet. It is safe and practically crime free. We have trees and parks. We have lots of access to Manhattan. That is why we moved here 10+ years ago. Actually, one day before a massive days-long riot broke out in our old nabe. So I understand this desire for better. Who wants crime and insecurity.

But Bad Grace says these new fuckers are bringing their shit hole friends/relatives with them. Thus in the last 6 months to a year, I am now frequently hearing ghetto music blasted out of thumping SUVs, loudly gabbing minorities in native tongues (yes, had this issue prior with regular nabes but new nabes won't SHUT UP after a few minutes...a lot of non english speaking groups seems to speak very loudly to each other. Normally we have the update calls - "i'm on the bus. be home in ten minutes. 2 minutes away, what do you want for dinner. should I pick up something? I see you on the corner, I'm at the next stop" variety). Now it's something something something, on and on and on without end and I cannot eavesdrop because it is in another language(s). Not that knowing what the conversation was made it better. Because why even make such mundane calls as Hi-i'm-home-i-can-see-you-on-the-corner-waiting-for-me.? Yeah, well, so wait till you get off the freakin bus in 30 seconds to say hello.

I digress.

Now we have strange people hanging out on corners at night (some of this can be attributed to the tweens who have now grown up into teens/collegiates, but there are others...loitering).
After ten plus years, you recognize neighbors even if you don't know them personally. Say like the assholes who moved in upstairs, 3 generations who apparently work in 24 hour shifts because they are super noisy and clack around in heels and shoes right ABOVE MY BED. Someone also seems to lift weights and DROPS the dumbbells right onto the hardwood floors, no mat covering. Dickhead. Every Saturday morning, it is time to clean. Meaning every piece of furniture gets shoved and scraped across their hardwoord floor. Did I mention that our complex has hardwood floors and it is such a shitty building the construction between apartments consists of barely any to no concrete, just drywall, some insulation (maybe) and wood beams covered with rebar.

And most annoyingly, the bus is mega crowded by the time it gets to me in the morning. Whence before I could expect a packed 8:30am bus, it is now 8am - 9:30am jammed packed busES. God damnit I hate crowds...exponential rise in cattle-like behaviors.

AND, AND this is before any of the apartment complexes right in my nabe have been completed. These are not even finished being built! I dread the coming tide of cattle. >: ( Wahhh! I mean, Corcoran managed -- ooh not going there might give us away.

Wahhhhhh!!!!!! Did I say Whaaaaah! already? Yes? Oh.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! : 0

Yes, this post smacks of some [fill-in your own sensitivitychip] -ism. I don't care. I don't deal with change well. I don't necessarily care what skin color you have (I'm not caucasian myself) so much as the quality of your associates and ability to get with the local program of indoctrination of clean, safe, and spacious living. Especially when said new residents themselves or associates will bring an influx of rude uncouth peoples dragging down the quality of life/living that I have enjoyed these many years. And, yes while there will undoubtedly be positive effects of change, it cannot offset the loss of space that made this nabe so enjoyable, if a tad boring. It also means more kids and families. Blechk. No like children.

In conclusion, if you find yourself lucky enough to land here and are gonna live with me you better bring some manners and perks. This is not manhattan and it better not turn into some wanna be hubbub hipster enclave. Because I am all ready to 311 Quality of Life complaints, yo.

I will be the chick on the bus staring suspiciously at you and glaring.
Well, I am the chick on said bus. Because another sign of shitholes coming into town, more shit left in the buses. Wrappers, food, bottles. We have relatively none before. I'll cut slack on that until the construction people stop working around here. Maybe they are making service messy and stinky. But once the buildings are up and this shit persists I will lay it squarely on your newbie asses.

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